cords of love

There are days like this where I am so thankful that life is about more than me. I should not write when I feel down, but today that is exactly what I am doing, pressing through, but starting to see a theme going here that is more than just my self pity. I find myself as a mother letting go again and again. I thought I had let go when she went to Kindergarten and I said goodbye at the door that first day. I had no idea. Then she moved to another town after she graduated high school, and I said goodbye in tears practically every weekend. Two weeks became two months, and then the time apart became a semester away at school in another country. Today I say goodbye again. She starts a new job on Monday in another state, and her dad and she, with trailer in tow, pulled out of the driveway this morning. By September, she will be away in a country across the ocean, and this time, it will be for a year. All of this is just for one of my three whom I adore. It has been the greatest privilege of my life to guide my children to adulthood. Sometimes it hurts, though.

How many times in this life do we say goodbye? It’s all such a natural part of life that I never want to get good at. Goodbyes are messy, tearful trials that tear away at the cords of love in our hearts. Letting go and letting them grow. All in the name of love.

As hard as today is, letting go is more than saying goodbye. Trusting Him with that which He entrusted to me takes some work and a lot of prayer, but the bigger letting go is so worth it. At times, it slipped away so quickly, I felt a panic like I should chase after and say, wait! Wait. Other times, I have a restful satisfaction, knowing it is simply right to stay back and watch them take flight. Letting go of fears, letting go of that which I never had hold of in the first place—it’s a good trade because His are better Hands than my own.


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11 thoughts on “cords of love

  1. My heart aches for you. My husband keeps reminding me that the reason our children are able to move a little farther and a little farther is because they are so secure, and that means a lot on different levels. No one talks about this stage of life much. They make jokes about empty nests, etc., but I think it’s a much bigger deal than common wisdom allows. I love you and am praying for you.

  2. A very timely post as I just sent my daughter off to work at Bible Camp for the summer. This year Im feeling that panic….but I know He has so much planned for her.

    Praying for both our daughters as He holds them firmly in His hands

  3. I don’t remember how I came across your blog in the last day or two. But I just wanted to tell you that I love the calming tone of your posts. You sound as if you’re sitting there, cup of coffee next to you, just thinking about life. Oh, I’d love to just sit and think about life. I hope and pray that as my children get older and our lives are not so hectic that I will have the same calm tone about me.

    And I pray that as I am forced to let go I’ll look back on how I know my parents prayed me through so much, but did just that and let me go.

    Thanks from someone who enjoys reading and listening to those who are further down the roads of parenting and life.

    Donna @ Did I Say That Out-Loud?

  4. Oh sweet Annie…
    I’m praying for your mommas heart today. I pray that you feel peace and excitement toward this new journey for her.

    Let us know how she is doing along the way. I know you must be so proud. God’s loving hand is gently holding her too.

    Big hugs,
    Fran

  5. Annie,
    I understand what you are going throught I put my 15 year old Candice on a plane for Utah, she is staying with her sisters, I’m not sure when i’m going to see her again, my heart is arching to be close to my children… I love them so, I got to talk to her and my 20 year old and my grandkids on the phone to day it felt so good to hear there voices, and they all said I love you Nana, my heart smiled… My dear friend I will keep you in my prayers…
    Connie
    GBU

  6. The other afternoon, both my children left at the same time, and I felt this unexplained terror that they were leaving. I didn’t want them to go, even though they were just doing ordinary things. It’s so hard sometimes. Yet I know this is what they are supposed to do.

    Praying for you, my friend.

    love,
    karen

  7. Your baby is in the Best Hands! You’ve been such a great mother because she feels confident flying out of the nest! We must trust Him with our children! It’s time to surrender to His Will again!
    Love you,
    Angie xoxo

  8. I remember weeping all the way home when we moved my husband’s daughter from our home to Austin for college.

    God bless you dear sister. May your heart be filled with joy.

    Annette

  9. I will certainly be praying for you! I can only imagine how difficult it will be to send them off someday.I can say that your post today will make me be a more gracious person when I get home this evening after my day at work and find my house filled with teenage boys.I know that it won’t be all that much longer until it will be too quiet!I know that you are both sad and excited for your daughter and her new experiences.

    Blessings
    Michelle

  10. Wow, boy do I hear that one! I must say that if I wasn’t sitting here at work reading this, I would literally be in tears. I do know how you feel. Letting Brian go off to the Air Force. That first 6 weeks of no contact other than letters was so hard! Then he moved on San Angelo. A little further, but I was able to have phone contact. Then back to San Antonio, Wedding and so on… It’s never easy and you have more experience than I. Jeremy is still in town, but days can go by where I don’t see him, and now that school is out, Joseph is out with his friends. I come home from work to an empty house, which was filled with boys and noise. It can really get you down if you let it. I will be praying for you and your sweet daughter. I know nothing makes the absence easier, but the coming back together is so great! I rejoice with your daughter and the wonderful things she will experience in this new chapter of her life as I know you are as well. Love to you my sister, be strong in Him, Karen

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