a view through annie's eyes

With lots of time to think lately, I’ve been reorganizing my life in my head and occasionally on paper. As most of you, I wear many hats, and frankly, I like it that way. I’m a zealous Christian, a devoted wife, an overbearing mother, a good friend, an off-again on-again writer, an intentional home-maker, a new business venture owner, an aspiring pianist and photographer, a traveller, and a  gazillion other things unworthy of a label. Ultimately, I am woman with many choices. As I define my life, I wonder what, if any, I do well. I often feel I must divide myself and portion my time and energies toward each of my jobs. Yet, as I reflect, I see a common theme that cannot be deluted, cannot be divided, to be effective. In every task, only one thing is required.

Lately, I have had the privilege to be single minded. Recuperating and resting a lot, this was a required sabbatical–a necessary place to stop, to look hard at where I am, where I’m going. Not on the stuff I like to focus, but I have been able to look inward and do a little internal closet cleaning. Maybe it’s because I recently turned 50 and must face the stark reality that the majority of my life is over. Or maybe it was just time. Whatever reason, I want my life to have counted for something. If I had one epitaph to sum my life, I would so want it be “she loved  well.”  When it’s all said and done here on earth, I want my legacy to be love. Nothing else matters but Christ’s love in my heart poured out completely as a drink offering to any I encounter. Erma Bombeck once said,

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say I used everything You gave me.”

Not knowing if I have a single day or another fifty years, I see I have lots of work to do,  love to share. I pray for single-mindedness as I take on each day, for only a heart to offer authentic love in every task. I ask for the energy to do this when I cannot in my own strength. I ask for the clean slate of forgiveness to overtake me when I lack the desire to love. I pray for the opportunity and privilege to love as Christ loved us.

Who am I with all the “hats”, all the labels? I am nothing if not operating from the abundant river of Love which I so graciously have been apportioned.