Recently I was contemplating what I want to do with my next years of my life. While we have a lot going on with a new business, I see the loose ends starting to come together. My relationships and my social life feel fairly comfortable right now, and I find a lot of joy in my husband, children, and most recently, in my new granddaughter, Bella and my grandson, Liam. My vertical spiritual life is better than it was a year ago, and my mental challenges of learning new things seem very stimulating. Yet, I have a lop-sided spoke on my wheel of a balanced life: the giving of myself in a serving capacity is all but non-existent these days.
For the better part of my married life, I volunteered. I was a school volunteer, I joined the Junior League and the women’s guild at church. I found causes I never knew I even cared about and threw a big part of my heart into them. I loved the feeling of helping others, and, truth be told, I loved the way people loved what I did for them. I took on leadership positions in the organizations and I got to where I spent so much time on these worthy causes, that I neglected my first responsibilities at home and to the Lord. After years of a chaotic life of running all the time, I started seeing things a little differently. My season of volunteerism came to a halt about the same time my children married. Being busy with weddings, new projects at the ranch, and plainly put, burnout all contributed to my withdrawal. I grew skeptical of others and my own selfish motives became more evident, so I slowly found reasons to drop out of virtually everything I was involved in.
Recently, I feel a nudge from God to serve again. “Feed my sheep,” I hear Him call. I wished I could say my response was like Samuel’s “Here I am!” But I think it’s been more like a Jonah running to Tarshish. But the boat ride is getting bumpy. His beckoning woos me closer to hear, “What are you doing for Me, Annette? I’ve got a whale of a deal for you, but you won’t turn toward Me, heed my call. What are you doing for Me, Annette?
Have you ever been asked a question, then realize you really don’t want to hear the answer? I know the answer. It’s time. I’ll say it:
Here I am, Lord.
Let’s see where He leads us. What have you done lately for the Lord? What is He asking of you this day?
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I have been praying for you ever since I read this post. I think all of us at one time or another feel like we are in a rut and want to serve Him but don’t know what it is He wants us to do. Someone else said something about the seasons of life and there are definitely those….I am in one of those ruts myself…and I keep asking Him what it is that He would have me do and I keep looking and nothing has come to me as of today. I know He is not finished with either one of us, because we are still here. You do have a pretty full plate at the moment with your business and new grandchildren etc. Doesn’t mean you can’t serve Him, but don’t over load your plate till you know that it is of Him and not just your flesh. Love you and your heart.
Thank you, dear Mary Lou. I agree He has work for us to do. I also know the opposite extreme of being too busy–and it can be worse since I don’t stop long enough to listen to Him. It’s not a bad place to be right here if we are listening. I will pray with you, Mary Lou, for Him to show us exactly where He wants us and for our obedient response! Hugs!
Just wanted you to know I stopped by. The Lord will accomplish what concerns us. A verse I am meditating on this – this very day.
Hey, Michele! Hope all is well with you and your beautiful family. Know you are busy, busy in these teenage years! Do you still work right around the corner from me, (she asks ashamedly, since we haven’t been to lunch in so long…)?
A few years ago, I heard Francis Chan speak in person. His message put a fire in my heart to help needy children, but I felt so conflicted. I did NOT want to adopt. Chan told about having a destitute woman and her children move in with his family. Everyone told him not to do it, but he did. I sat there thinking, “PLEASE, God, don’t ever ask that of me. I will fail you. I’m afraid I’ll say no.” I forgot about that moment until just a few weeks ago, and I had to laugh. If you had told me I’d be doing what I’m doing now a few years ago, I would have gotten in a car and just kept driving, kind of like Jonah! Somehow, God has changed me in this moment to the point that I do not even recognize myself, in the sense of my hang-ups and fears being gone, etc. I guess what I’m saying is, at some point, you are going to know; you’ll just know. I’m reminded of Isaiah 30:21: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.'” Your ears attuned; your heart is inclined toward Him. It won’t be long. 🙂
Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor! It’s almost as if the very thing we’re the most afraid of is where He takes us to show us He can! Isn’t it unbelievable the way the Grand Tapestry of our lives are woven…I’ve been watching your story unfold on Facebook, and just love seeing how your heart is toward those babies. Thanks for letting me in on “the rest of the story.” Don’t you just want to stand on tiptoe to see what cool thing lies ahead? Hugs.
I am hearing that from our Lord as well.
Just want you to know I’m praying for you.
It’s exciting, isn’t it, Sheryl! You know God likes to make us laugh about something–When you wrote “I am hearing that from our Lord as well.” I was just saying last week that I hadn’t heard from God in a while, (and you know that means I’m not where I should be) and then you point out that you are hearing from God, too! I am hearing from God just fine, but it’s my obedience that is not in check! Thank you for stopping by after all this time of no blogging. I’m saying a prayer for you, too, before I hit “reply”.
I had a little glimpse of this yesterday, actually a reminder kick, on Valentine’s Day. I woke up thinking, “Jesus is my Valentine. I wonder what He’s going to give me today/” Of course I meant in the context of all of the flower giving, chocolate buying hoopla. And I have to admit that the next day when I saw the big diamond ring one dear sweet (well deserving) friend received, I thought he had fallen down on the job! But on Valentine’s morning a FB friend commented on how “everyone is posting about how much they love their special someone today. If you’ll think about how you love someone so much that you would lay down your life for them, you can almost start to understand God’s love for all of usl. Almost understand. That’s better than anything anyone else could buy or give you. We all probably think the same thought….that the best gifts our children can give us can’t be bought……maybe God feels the same way” I shamefully realized that I should have woken up and asked what I could do/give to Jesus, my Valentine. You know there are seasons in our lives, and you will find just the right thing to fullfill the desire that God has placed in your heart and is whispering to you. And it will be a blessing .
I love your heart, Nancy. God blessed you with such compassion. I agree–so much hoopla over the valentines, but if we really understood love, we’d look to God and be grateful for the greatest love gift of all. Still it’s a hard day for many, and commercialized, and overrated. Think we can meet for dinner soon?
Yes, lets pick a day next week. I have Bella’s quilt finished and you can deliver it for me.